A message

God is the only one with a message.

It’s a message of hope and urgency, because he’s not gonna wait much longer. His message is a simple one.

We’re all connected. Our hopes and our dreams, our children’s future reflecting back in each other’s eyes. We fight our own personal battles.

But we know we’re not alone. Because only together can we make our short time on this planet mean something.Only together can we be the stewards of our own destiny.

And we hold in our collective hearts, one noble goal.

To save ourselves, save the world.

The Strength of a man

The strength of a man isn’t seen in the width of his shoulders.
It’s in the width of his arms that encircle you.

The strength of a man isn’t in the deep tone of his voice.
It’s in the gentle words he whispers.

The strength of a man isn’t how many buddies he has.
It’s how good a buddy he is with his children.

The strength of a man isn’t in how respected he is at work.
It’s in how respected he is at home.

The strength of a man isn’t in how hard he hits.
It’s in how tender he touches.

The strength of a man isn’t in the hair on his chest.
It’s in his heart, that lies within his chest.

The strength of a man isn’t how many women he’s loved.
It’s in being true to one woman.

The strength of a man isn’t in the weight he can lift.
It’s in the burdens he can carry.

via Pulpit Helps
June, 2002

Micro-Management Addiction

Most micro-managers would never admit it, but micro-management is an addiction. It’s a dependence on controlling others, fussing about minor details, and being concerned about the way things are done rather than in the results achieved. Micro-managers typically ask for status, data and reports from their subordinates more often than they could possibly need for constructive intervention. They tend to double check people’s work, always on the lookout for something wrong.

This kind of behaviour is a sign of a manager in trouble – a supervisor who routinely points out minor flaws and spends all his time trumping up his efforts at fixing them, while not having the faintest idea of how the organization can advance as a whole. This kind of manager attempts to mask the symptoms but doesn’t think about finding the cure.

Urge for control is a symptom of fear, insecurity, lack of confidence and lack of trust. The root cause of micro-management, basically, is Fear. Fear of appearing incompetent, fear of losing one’s position or authority, fear that one’s subordinates may take over one’s role or importance.

Whether you yourself are showing signs of micro-managing others or it’s one of your middle managers, it’s important to realize that micro-management is hurting your organization. It jeopardizes employees’ job satisfaction. There is no room left for advancement of the subordinates, as the micro-manager-boss does not relinquish responsibilities. This gives rise to resentment among employees. Sub-ordinates are so afraid of the constant criticism and so fed up with the constant follow up of the boss that they no longer take enough interest. Creativity dries up. Motivation level drops with plummeting morale. Productivity becomes the obvious victim.

Micro-management is a management strategy with great or excessive control with attention to too many details. Micro-managers manage with rules, formulas, data, laid-down procedures, straightjacket budgets, and financial ratios. They are so involved in the details of what happens in the organization that they do not have time for doing the strategic plan and obviously they miss the big picture.

If you are micro-managing, you obviously feel insecure about something. It could be your company’s disappointing results, it could be pressure from higher level managers, it could be that you’re afraid of being replaced, of losing your job. Whatever the case, understand that micro-managing is not the solution. It eats away at your workers, it eats away at you, and it’s killing your organization.

So if you’re turning to micro-managing in order to feel important or in control, how can you get out of the trap?

First and foremost, realize that you are not the sole guardian of the organization’s welfare. It’s a team effort, and if the right people are empowered to do their jobs, and indeed, allowed the time and space to do their jobs properly, then your company has a good fighting chance.

Stay focused and keep your employees focused on a clear vision of the company – where you want your company to go, what you want your company to achieve. Be ever vigilant of getting sucked into a time-and-energy-wasting whirlpool of trivial issues.

Grow into the leader you can be and stop hiding behind menial tasks. Successful managers chase opportunities and lead people to success. Make things happen instead of waiting for things to happen.

Delegate the day-to-day routine functions to make sufficient time to keep a tab on industry news, to study the competitors, to plan for the future – that’s the strategic planning that will take your company further, not the day-to-day logistical, mechanical details. The danger is not some slip-up an employee may make; the real danger is the neglect of critical management functions.

Tolerate failures. Allow mistakes to happen. When people realize that they are not punished for risk taking, they will take more risks. Think which is more cost-effective. Allowing for mistakes by employees and encouraging them to fix their own problems? Or paying the price of de-motivated, resentful employees sabotaging you and all your good work?

And learn to praise rather than criticize. Nobody likes a micro-manager who makes them feel like kids in a kindergarten. You’ll see your workers becoming happier and more efficient, you yourself will begin to feel better and more assured, and your organization will naturally do well.

Recipe Vs Ingredient

You see him in the kitchen with all the measurement containers, thermometer and timer. He has a lot of the cookbooks and recipes. He is the one who records all the cooking TV programs and tell his friends that he also know how to create such dish. A very good copier. To him, cooking is a science. He is your Recipe Person.

 Let’s meet the Ingredient Person. He is creative. He is the one who looks around the kitchen to see what are available, taking all the available spices and start smelling them, feel the raw food and start cooking. He estimates the amount of sauce. He grabs a handful of ingredients and knows that it is just enough. To him, cooking is an art. He treats the kitchen like a canvas and he is that food painter. 

Whilst it is good to follow the books, read the Best Practices and remember the steps given by the coach, yet mastering that aspect of your field requires greater depth. It eventually makes you treat it like a piece of art, almost like being an artist. 

Moving from a Recipe Person to an Ingredient Person requires deeper understanding, more experiences and lastly, practice, practice and more practice.

 The difference between a Recipe Person and an Ingredient Person is significant. Many tried to master the profession by following the recipes, they will only reach a certain limit. But it is those who truly understands the individual ingredients in it that can achieve higher heights and achievements.

So having know that and looking at your own life, ask yourself this:

Are you a Recipe Person or are you an Ingredient Person? 

What if…..

You might not notice it. But it is hidden in a lot of conversation. Yes, the word “What if”.

I came to a conclusion that this is probably one of the most powerful words around. In today’s context, society and economy circles around these words, creating business opportunities, fostering leadership and improve project planning. Disaster Recovery Plan begins with it, Insurance policy starts with it and good operation planning always have alot of “What if”’s.

Many things can be achieved by this “What if”, similarly many things might not able to be achieved with this. You probably can relate to many incidents when people told you or ask you something and begin with the word “What if…”

“What if something happens?” “What if we don’t do this..” What if this is an opportunity”

It caused you to make a decision without knowing the next move, the next step or the result. It caused you to think through carefully and based on your experiences, trying to make a judgement call.

But most importantly it gives you a chance to exercise faith. Yes, the word “What if” branched out 2 paths; Faith and Fear.

In the absence of faith, fear steps in. Similarly if there is no fear, faith exists.

We should always press forward for a positive result and outcome. When “what if” is presented in a negative way, reverse that and asked back with the presence of faith.

“What if we do this and it fails?”, BUT “what if we do it and it is successful?”

Whilst we cannot eliminate the element of risk, but yet we should never stop trying to exercise faith and calculate that risk.

Don’t let the “What if” scare you off, face it, think through and challenge it back.

What if you do what I said and you become a better person? Is it worth a try?  

Pinhole of Perception

I was playing with my camera one day, snapping away some still objects, trying to kill some time. After 5 minutes, I got bored, aiming at almost everything and clicking away, I felt that it is pretty pointless.

So I told myself, do a small exercise, within 60 seconds, look for all objects that are yellow-tinted. Suddenly, the shooting become challenging. I went looking for objects all over the house. Okay, next, now all objects that are round, GO!

Yes, I know, you must be thinking how self-entertaining I am. Well, it is always better to have certain objectives in mind than to be lost at doing something, even when we are killing times.

But isn’t this amazing? Looking at things through the eye of pinhole. The result of it are things that you selectively wanted to see. If you want to report how boring a party event is, simple, take a camera and shoot at all those lonely people sitting by the corner drinking, or people that don’t smile, looked bored etc. Your party event will look really boring through the eye of the pinhole. Alternatively, you can snap at happy people, laughing people, people that are in the party mood and all of the sudden, your party event looks like a real success!So in actual fact, is the party event really boring or really fun?

Welcome to the world of perception, where everything is judged based on the way you looked at it through your own pinhole. All of us have our own perception, how we looked at things, how we looked at people, and certainly how we looked at life itself. To some, this world is full of hope, dreams and pursuits. To some, they always believe in the goodness of people but to some, they felt everybody is for themselves and very self-centered.

I know of a family man that was being retrenched by his boss due to down-sizing and yet he can tell you that his boss is doing the right thing. Another friend of mine, who also got retrenched, ended up cursing and blaming his boss for all the things he put him through. So who are we to say who is right and who is wrong? Again, different people, different perception.

We lived in a world of our own, literally speaking. Yes there is only one planet earth, but there are different worlds within the same planet. To each its own world, I must say.

The world that we lived in, unfortunately or fortunately, is created, crafted and designed by our very own self. Of course there are circumstances and experiences that shaped our perception towards the world we lived in but again, they can only influence us. Our world is still basically what we choose to see, what we choose to hear and what we choose to believe.

Did you pick up the keyword that I just mentioned? Yes, the keyword is “choose”.

There is a choice to perception. Whilst it is hard to change perception, yet God gives us each a free will. The power and the ability to choose. Altering your perception in life is a decision away, but it takes you to recognize that you are looking at the wrong pinhole. You must first realized that your perception is not doing you any good.

How to change? How you change shift the focus of your camera is how you change your perception. The way you used to think, change it. The way you looked at people, start giving the benefits of doubt. The way you looked at life, start smiling at it. The next thought that you entertained in your mind must be questioned, think through and approved by you before processing it.

So, you ready to play the camera game? If you are, stop snapping at objects you used to snap and now within the next future of your life, snap at other objects with a different perception, this time round, a better one… 

When doing the right thing ain’t enough…

There is always a constant struggle between right and wrong, human tends to get confused at times when making a decision due to many factors like emotions, environments, peer pressures etc. A more disciplined group of people will always train their heart and mind to follow a certain pattern of behavior that they are very comfortable with whilst another group of people will seek for opinions/advice and consent before making that move.

As they always said, “Always do the right thing”. Always do what is right, always follow what majority will deem as right or always make that decision where your conscience is clear.

I would like to drill down a little deeper.

We operate in an environment where we are surrounded by 3 key influences; people, culture and society. Our decisions and beliefs are indirectly conditioned by these. When we are in a country that believes in human rights and freedom, our decisions and beliefs are conditioned by it. When we are in a religious environment that teaches good and evil and believes in the Higher Power, our decisions and beliefs will be conditioned by it too.

Therefore, the career we choose, the life partner that we decided to commit or the lifestyle that we want, indirectly being encapsulated by this environment that we lives in. People, Culture and Society indirectly grab a hold of our life, telling us what is the right thing to do.  Peer pressures set in, people’s opinions set in and rules set in. You will think you had made the right move, afterall everybody around you is approving of your decision, giving their thumbs up to the decisions you made.

But give it another 5 years, 10 years or 20 years, you see people starting to change their career, from a corporate executive to a food stall owner. Some started to find incompatibility in their spouse and divorce seems like the only way out. There will be also this group of people who will tell you they are going to make a drastic change in their life. Some decided not to believe in the Higher Power where they used to be comfortable in and choose to go their own separate way.

Ever wonder why?

Doing the right thing is good, but not enough. It requires something else, something more concrete that can anchored your decision into the rock of foundation.

It requires your TOTAL conviction..from your heart.

To be totally convinced and convicted yourself that you believe strongly in this and not others, not what the environment think is right and definitely not what seems right.

Like they always said, “It has to come from within”. That is why it is so difficult to teach people to have a change of heart, a change of mindset. People can tell you what is the right thing to do, but ultimately it has to be based on your conviction and your heart to make that decision. Else that move that you made might not lasts.

It takes your skills/talents to reach to the top, it takes your character to sustain it there. It takes only a moment to pen down the marriage certificate, it takes your convicted heart and your whole commitment to make that marriage lasts.  It takes not much effort to be in church with a group of friends socializing together every weekend, it takes your convicted heart and your life commitment to follow Him and not plain wasting time.

So start strengthening your character and seek to have a change of heart, in preparation for the cross junction ahead where you need to make that decision, the right one… 

Junction of mixed feeling

Many had encountered that. Many dealt with that before. You want to plunge straight into the emotional whirlpool from the news that you had received, yet you can’t because the other part of the news suggested you otherwise.

Welcome to the world of mixed feeling..

A loyal employee who stayed with the company for more than 15 years finally been headhunted for a new job that offers twice his wages.

A soon-to-be father who had discovered the death of his unborn child but doctor managed to save the mother’s life from a major complication procedure.

A local well-liked person had received an attractive offer to work overseas which need him to uproot himself away from his friends and the comfort that he had lived in.

You want to react. You want to cry. You want to be happy. But all of the sudden, you do not know how to response. Your emotions, at this point of time, do not overtake you. They are lost. They need a direction.

Lower degree of mixed feeling suggested many to swing their emotions to and fro. At a higher degree, many simply do not know how to react.

When this happens, something else takes over.

Your understanding that the story of your life needs some turning points in order to reach the ending.

Your maturity in knowing that something bigger is setting you up to the destiny you are called to be.

And your heart will know that the changes is for the better.

So when you are at the junction of mixed feeling, stay calm, do not react. Smell the morning dew and continue to enjoy the journey ride that your life is offering to you.

Stopper for Growth

I was washing my face in a bright weekday morning, getting ready for work.

When I was done, I saw the water on the basin almost filled to the top. There was a stopper at the bottom of the basin, preventing water from draining down.

Every experience can be a learning curve, every circumstance can be a growing path. Events that you went through, situations that you encountered, each of it will cause you to grow more wisely, mature or basically to be a better person.

But the stopper for growth choked everything. That stopper can be your attitude towards life, your perception of people or your negativism towards things that happened.

That stopper that prevents learning and growing in life because it had been blinded by all the choking factors.

My hand dived towards that stopper, pulled it out and water starts rushing down as per normal. It is good to see that nothing is choking its way.

Make a decision today to locate your stopper, dive in, pull it out and let the river of life flow through.

Story of Father and Son

“Dad always ignore my wish! I am quite disappointed frankly, don’t even know whether does he love me or not..” Sat at the corner of the bed, folded his arms and shouted out.

His mother quietly sat beside him, trying to console him, “But you know that Dad loves you. I know he did mention to you that you will get your favourite mountain bike soon, don’t worry, he will keep his promise..”

“He is always SO BUSY! I tried all that I can, every test, every exams, I passed with flying colors. I am the top student of my class! Have I not been a good son? I am always having a good attitude in handling problems. What more does he wants? Keep his promise? It is almost one whole year, Mom. Is it very hard for him to give me what I want?”

The son stood up, stormed out of the room, “Maybe I should find my own way to get what I want!”

Looking at the door slammed, his mother mumbled, “I hope you know what you are doing dear…”

Few weeks later…

“Mom! My results is out! I am the top of my class again!! I am going to drop Dad an email, he is on his way back this Sat but I really can’t wait to tell him!”

“Haaa, quick, go!”

Sat in front of his computer, the son looked at the screen, smiled and start typing..

‘Hi Dad, how is your business trip? Want to tell you that I am the top student of my class again! I am really happy..haha.. Hope you are back soon, can’t wait to see you. But Dad, can you pleeease grant me my wish? I don’t know how many times I had asked you for it , I always trust in you but please Dad…’

While he was typing, the door opened, he looked up and saw his Dad.

Suddenly he saw Dad’s hand was holding something and dragging it into the room, he saw a bright and shining mountain bike!! Yes, it is a mountain bike, but it seems to be different, seems to be better.

Dad smiled, “Son, here is your present. I know you always wanted a bike and I tell myself, instead of buying you one, I decided to build you one. I don’t have any knowledge of bike so I took up a course in the beginning of this year and start learning the different parts of the bike. I didn’t go for the business trip, I went to Japan to get some of the best parts for the bike and start building. Here you go, I’m sure you will enjoy it. You said you want it this year, well, today is 31st Dec. Look, I even craft your name on it!”

He is humbled, his heart is softened. He stretched out his hand and touched the bike. His eyes looked up and fixed on his Dad’s.

“Dad…” He knelt down, grabbed his leg, cried, “forgive me…I love you..”

Dad knelt down in front of him, hugged him, “Son, you are worth all my efforts..”

And the room was silenced with love, peace and assurance…