Yesterday I was being told by my friends that I’m abit defensive, just a simple remark passed ended up to a good one hour conversation. And you are right, I am defending myself… 😉
There is a thin line between being defensive and stating the facts. The latter is much appreciated but not the former. How do you state your facts without being shown as defensive? How do you clarify to the person clearly without them thinking, “here we go again…” ?
Based on ground level, both appears to be similar. But one can “smell” it when it comes out from a different attitude. Yes, you guess it. Being defensive got something to do with your heart, your attitude. Out of your mouth comes the deepest cry of your heart.
Defensive is a child of a succesful marriage of insecurity and low self-esteem. Do you mind if someone said something totally untrue about you? Will you step up to defend yourself or will you simply smile? Will you draw out your sword and prepare for battle or will you laugh over it and find this an excuse to feast with them? When they point their finger at you, do you hold their finger and point to somewhere else?
While being defensive put off people around you, stating the facts welcome them. It attracts people towards you. Why? Because it is the truth. The truth always attracts. The more you show yourself strong in standing on the truth, the more people are attracted to you.
What a big difference, yet what a fine line. Still, we do not need to worry. What speaks out is the level of your heart condition at that stage of your life. It grows towards maturity, that’s why elder people don’t really defend themselves anymore. That’s why you see those younger ones always the one writing longer emails than the rest.
Nevertheless, I like what one of my friends always said, “Life goes on..” We can never be able to show everyone that we are right. If somebody wronged us, one day they will know the truth. I like what my Pastor said, “You do your best, let God do the rest.”
Good, so from now onwards, What the heck, stop pleasing others and start being yourself. If they are wrong about me, they are wrong about me! Who cares! I will show them one day that I am stating the facts afterall! Wait a minute.. am I being defensive again?
Of Life and Thoughts 